I know I'm fat. I've always been fat. Since forever that I can remember, and even when I can't remember, I've been overweight.  I used to get in trouble for sneaking food. My family used to try to make me feel better about myself by saying I wasn't fat.. but I knew I was..and that made me feel worse. I knew they were lying and it sucked. I wanted to be like everyone else. I wanted to wear the cute clothes. Shop at the fun stores. I didn't want to have to go to the nurse to have to get changed because my pants were too tight. But I did. And as I got older, not much changed. I did grow into my body a little bit as I got into high school, but I was still overweight. I tried so many exercises in high school that I could do for free or for cheap. When I met my husband I started gaining weight again. We got comfortable with each other. That was 12 years ago. In that time we had 2 kids. With each one I gained 60lbs but lost most of it because it was all baby weight. When I became a stay at home mom the pounds really packed on. I was able to sit if I wanted to. I played with my kids on the floor but didn't have to move around. I wasn't able to exercise because they were so young, all my time was focused on them. 

Then I went back to work. I felt huge. I could barely do my job. I work in retail so I have to move a LOT. I lost about 30lbs just from working.  Then something happened. I started gaining weight again. I am still working but I have a different job. I do some exercise activity at work but not as intense as I used to have to do. My eating schedule has also been  crazy. I was eating fast food everyday because I was too lazy to pack my own lunch. I was eating double lunch because my schedule was all whacked. I wake up at 4am, eat breakfast after I shower and get dressed. I go to work for 6 and eat lunch at 10am. In the old days I would be starving when I got home at 2. And I would eat another lunch. Then dinner at around 6pm before going to bed at 9pm. Too much food. Not enough activity. 

I can't even remember what I was reading, but something popped out at me for an issue of Self magazine. Lose weight with the Drop10Diet. I thought, that sounds pretty easy. It was time for me to get healthy. I was sweaty and gross and  Eating healthy is VERY expensive!!!) and planned my eating. It was fun trying to find new recipes using the super foods that I like.  I even started exercising! I climb a ladder and walk frequently at work, but its not steady. I decided I would walk. Its easy enough to do-and FREE! Plus I get 30 minutes of ME time! I can think of whatever I want without being interrupted by a 4 or 7 year old. I love them dearly but Mommy needs Mommy time too!

I walk around the block. The first 5 minutes is flat, then 3 minutes uphill, then flat for the rest except the end is downhill then flat again. I've been working on going a little farther each day and walking a little faster each day. This way its still my 30 minutes but I'm going more distance.  I LOVE the walks. I zone out into me. I think of clothes I'll get to wear. I think of things I'll get to do with my kids when I can breath and have the energy to do them. I even walked through the pain. Once I started walking , my legs didn't hurt anymore. I did take today off from walking. I helped my friend move from the second floor of one apartment to the second floor of another. That was enough for me today. I plan on making Sundays my no exercise days. I have a few DVDs in storage of dance exercises that I'm going to start doing. I bought them 7 years ago and never used them.  With my new motivation, they'll get a lot of work. I'm going to get my calendar and schedule my workout/healthy time. It will be like any other thing. I HAVE to go to work 5 days a week. I HAVE to do some sort of work out 6 days a week. I'm super motivated this time. And super proud of myself. I know I can do it! I can do anything. On top of all this- I have been smoke free for 30 days! :) If I can quit smoking I  can "quit" being fat and unhealthy.  GO ME! Ready to lose 125lbs!